Being OK

Interacting with a broad range of humans affords me the pleasure of seeing the inner workings of others lives. Sometimes I forget everyone has struggles, things they can’t shake or make work right in their minds, but are these things really worth the pain? Is it possible to just be ok with our issues? Or can we make a list and check each one off as a completed task?


Have you ever gotten up to do a quick email check and end up spending hours going down the rabbit hole of the interweb, link after link, after link, only to realize hours later “what have I been doing?” then start some unproductive self talk?


Change doesn’t happen EVER by rejecting who we are, what we feel, or our experiences. What do you do when your mind says “Do something right now to change yourself!” Do you acknowledge this? Start some internal dialogue? Do you notice what you are saying? It’s ok if you don’t like what you are saying, it's what’s going on right now but notice it, be aware of it, just let it be there. How about your body, notice how it feels, even if you would like it to feel different, no judgement just notice it. Let's explore these feelings, watch them like fluffy clouds floating by in a beautiful blue sky, just let them move around you. Now take a deep breathe, and slowly let it out, slowly.


What do you want at this moment? better coping mechanism, less obsession over checking emails, less facetime on social media, to not become angry when you disagree with another human's opinion, being less disappointed with everything.


Let's write it down.


What I want is. To not try to prove everyone wrong when I disagree with there opinion or statement regarding guns, religion, politics, racism, sexism, etc.


Ok, that was a tough one for me to get out because it really does eat away at my guts reading, and thinking about these things. It makes me feel like my stomach is crying (don’t laugh) it’s so painfully disheartening that some really kind people can produce so much hate without seeing that it is hate.


Now to work on this. What is the smallest movement you can take to move you towards your desire? For you is it an early morning or evening walk to recharge and clear your head? Maybe set a timer to remind you to get off the interweb? Create a peaceful place to be alone? Get to the beach and watch the sunset? Make a list check it twice. Whatever it is make it so obvious anyone would understand what you are doing.


Now write it down.


The one step I can take. Is meditate and be still with myself and enjoy who I am, just as I am.


Anyone else freaking out! This process makes me really uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel so attached to these things, like they are mine, I own them, and I don’t want them to go away if I let them go i won't be the same, people won't like me, I need them, they are apart of me, they keep me busy, they keep me distracted and help me to be self critical and not get productive things done. If someone was saying this to me I could totally be detached and in my mind I’d be saying “woozers, that bitch be crazy pants. Why can’t she see how hurtful that is and just let it go? I wish I could take that away so she could see just how amazing a human she is”


When will you complete this simplest one thing? Before breakfast, after work, when hell freezes over (joking), Tuesday?


Don’t put it off write it down.


For me I will complete this step every morning after I walk Frank.


Oh, no. Did you feel a little panicked by writing that down? Giving it a timeline? Maybe you need a hug, or more time, it's ok, take a deep breathe and another and let's make this happen.


Shit just got real guys. Now are you planning to cut your morning commute to the Valley down to 10 minutes? If so maybe you should evaluate “is this something you can complete on your own?” Maybe we need to build a little room for error and be ok with that.


Self High Five, we've done it, completed our one small step in the timeline we gave ourselves.


So why do I not feel more satisfied???


Our brain is wired for survival always thinking self preservation. We live in a world with different types of stress, less “OH SHIT A TIGER” and more “did that person get their driver's licence out of a cracker jack box? I need a drink, it's 5 o'clock somewhere! It’s going to cost how much to send my kids to camp? What do you mean you want me to have this done in 30 minutes? I’m so run down and need support”


All this is ok.


Remind yourself, repeat this when things get sticky, keep it simple. AND BREATHE.


“I’m done. I’m satisfied with having finished this. It's my life and I decide, it’s enough”


That’s it, unbelievable right?


Now go off into this amazing beautiful life you are experiencing and make those little changes one at a time. Be happy with where you are, who you are, because let's face it “YOU ARE AMAZING”


One last thing. Thank you for listening and being understanding, you have allowed me to fill up with joy and happiness today.


Be The Change.